Tips for Jedi-Level Pet Owners (part three)

You got it now, right? Your pet may or may not be welcome in a coffee shop or on an airplane, but either way we agree that he does not have the same thought structure as a human being. Even if he is one of these geniuses that predicts seizures or diagnoses cancer from urine samples, he is still not traveling along the same mental paths that a human being naturally does.

There are two more realizations you’ll need in order to become a Jedi master among pet owners. One of them is that you must embrace the number of years you have been given with this pet. Both of you will benefit if you prepare yourself for the fact that his life has a relatively predictable length, composed of relatively predictable phases.

When he is a little guy, you’ll be spending what seems like a lot of money to lay out his future as best you can. For better or for worse, that stage ends swiftly. At six months, he is similar to a human teenager in maturity, so do not continue to treat him like a baby; be patient and consistent, but make your expectations clear. At a year, he is mostly grown up and should be making fewer errors in judgment. This is kind of his golden age: he’s physically fit with lots of energy and a vigorous immune system. The problems of his youth are behind him, and your main job is to help him stay out of trouble. It doesn’t last forever, of course. It lasts just long enough for you to become totally complacent. It’s actually sort of a shock when you arrive at the unwanted realization that one hundred percent of pets are going to leave this world, and there is usually some period of illness to precede that event.

As he becomes elderly, he will require more (and more) of your time and effort. A Jedi master pet owner will proffer these gracefully and without resentment, remembering that this pet has unselfishly given you everything during the prime of his life. You’ll give him all the love and attention you gave when he was brand new, because he deserves it even more these days. You will not, however, fall into the trap of believing that more time or effort (or financial outlay) spent by you can somehow be cashed in for a deferral. I hope that you will be composed enough to sense that bargaining phase coming and spend your efforts instead on making the last part of your pet’s life as comfortable and dignified as possible. Always remember that, at some point, a shorter life of good quality will be preferable to a longer life of suffering. It’s a dark thing to contemplate, right? It is, however, a natural, normal, and unavoidable phase of your relationship. Perhaps that part of the trip won’t be quite so dark if you can embrace it from the outset.

There’s just one more skill needed to obtain that vaunted level of pet owning expertise, and fortunately it is the easiest one.

Probably.

Dr M.S. Regan